Why do some people hate being single?

This is a question that has been circling my mind for years.

I have this friend who is always in a relationship. Never have I known her and was she single. When I first met her she was in a relationship with this guy who was horrible to her; so much negativity and mental abuse. Instead of breaking up with him she continued the relationship until she found someone else. Then she continued that relationship until she found another guy and now, she is juggling two relationships until she finds the courage to leave the first guy and continue relations with the second. First of all her anxiety must be off the charts, I don’t know how she does it.

I once asked her why, why she put herself through all this. In the beginning she tried to find excuses by saying that it was all coincidence and she wasn’t actually doing something. But when the conversation deepend it was evident she had no answer, she hadn’t realised the pattern.

After some time, I met this lady whom hadn’t the luck of finding a male companion thus whenever someone was interested she accepted immediately. Even though she did admit to not having any feelings to most of them, it was evident that the attention made her feel good. When I asked why she wouldn’t stop, she would always find excuses and start saying that maybe she was feeling a connection, but she didn’t know. 

These two situations have a lot in common when analyzing on a deeper level. Their low self-esteem made these women seek acceptance wherever possible. They are both insecure.

The first woman could never let anyone go before the assurance that someone else is there for her, no matter how bad things were. The second never had anybody, thus the need for acceptance drove her to accept anyone interested.

People, like these two women, define themselves in terms of how others see them. They fail to see there own inner beauty. The more others like them, the more value they believe they have.

Someone should make them realize that they are worth so much more. They should realize that firstly they should fall in love with themselves and then the right person will fall in love with them. They should look at the people that are in their life that truly care about them and cut off anybody who doesn’t. By keeping the wrong person by their side they might miss the right one.

Quantity is not quality.

Or it could just be daddy issues.